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Things I resolve to (try and) stop saying in 2014

It’s gotten to the point where I’m outrageously annoyed at myself for how often I say these things. Time to cut ties. 

Also,  I swear a lot. 

  • This is an actual thing that happened. 
    -This is real. 
    -This is a real thing. 
    -This is a real thing that exists.
  • Real life. 
    -True fact/s.
    -Real fact/s.
  • Word. 
  • Truth. 
  • What the ever-loving fuck. 
  • Suck it. 
  • …The fuck?
    -…The eff?
  • Because of the reasons. 
    -Because obviously. 
    -Because Internet. 
    -Because of course. 
  • All the things. 
  • How dare you. 
  • You don’t even know. 
  • Blurgh.
  • Wamp.
  • Pwamp.
  • Ugh.
  • Sigh. 
  • Thanksh. 
  • Herro. 
  • Haaaaaaaaaaaaay girrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrl. 
  • Daaaaaaaaaaaaamn. 
  • So…
Horrifying

I thought this was real for a good 10 minutes. 

Just this, on repeat, forever.

(Source: Spotify)

My favorite moment from last week’s episode of Catfish. After getting some info that her online lovah might not be who he says he is (gasp…) all this chick wants is her dog that Max is totally hogging. 
We all just want to have our dog. 

My favorite moment from last week’s episode of Catfish. After getting some info that her online lovah might not be who he says he is (gasp…) all this chick wants is her dog that Max is totally hogging. 

We all just want to have our dog. 

Or, “areas to avoid.” 
This public service announcement brought to you by Yelp Word Map. 

Or, “areas to avoid.” 

This public service announcement brought to you by Yelp Word Map. 

New Tumblr I’m going to create: Things I last searched for and am surprised to see when I open my Chrome app.

New Tumblr I’m going to create: Things I last searched for and am surprised to see when I open my Chrome app.

#tbt and happy early Father’s Day, Da!

#tbt and happy early Father’s Day, Da!

I’m sorry … FOOD IS A HASSLE???!!!This new company Soylent is crowdfunding to bring their meal-in-a-powdered-drink-thing to the masses. I get it, I like eating healthy and working out and all that nonsense … but I also love eating. God, eating food is so much fucking fun. I guess this company is getting a ton of early hype and people are really excited about it but it sounds like a happiness-killer to me. I don’t want to be a part of that world. 

I’m sorry … FOOD IS A HASSLE???!!!

This new company Soylent is crowdfunding to bring their meal-in-a-powdered-drink-thing to the masses. I get it, I like eating healthy and working out and all that nonsense … but I also love eating. God, eating food is so much fucking fun. I guess this company is getting a ton of early hype and people are really excited about it but it sounds like a happiness-killer to me. 

I don’t want to be a part of that world. 

Uh … so you mean a bulletin board?

Uh … so you mean a bulletin board?